When should we end an evangelistic conversation?
Many of the conversations we engage in during street evangelism are profitable. We often make progress—listening and then putting forward truth for our hearers to take away with them.
But sometimes, we sense a conversation is going nowhere. This was the difficulty a team member faced at a recent open-air outreach in Derby. He came to me afterwards with the question: “When do I end a conversation?” It’s a dilemma faced by all who engage in one-to-one evangelistic outreach. At what point do we draw a line? How do we discern which conversations are worth pursuing and which are best left? And how do we end a conversation graciously?
Solomon reminds us that there is a time to speak and a time to be silent. There is a time to answer, and a time to refrain from answering:
Do not answer a fool according to his folly, Lest you also be like him. Answer a fool according to his folly, Lest he be wise in his own eyes.(Proverbs 26:4–5)
In this article, I want to share six examples of when it’s best to bring a conversation to a close rather than continue.
1. When a person is only interested in talking and unwilling to listen
At a recent open-air, a man stopped to tell me the Bible was a load of rubbish. Apparently, the name ‘God’ had been invented by the apostle Luke, whose favourite animal was a dog—so, according to the man, Luke named his made-up deity ‘dog’ spelled backwards. I tried to reason with him, but he wasn’t interested—he simply wanted to spout his nonsensical ideas. Thankfully, the conversation came to a natural close when he walked away after I repeatedly asked him for evidence. But had he stayed, I would have brought the conversation to a swift end.
If you have listened patiently and there is no opportunity to share something of the gospel message, it’s best to gently draw things to a close. Proverbs 14:7 says, “Go from the presence of a foolish man, when you do not perceive in him the lips of knowledge.”
You might say something like:
“Thank you for sharing your ideas, but it seems you’re not open to hearing anything in return—so perhaps it’s not worth continuing this conversation now.”
You can always leave the door open:
“We’re here regularly, so if you do want to hear more about the Christian message in the future, feel free to come and chat with us.”
2. When a person is repeatedly blaspheming the Lord
At a recent open-air in Derby, a man who claimed to be a Muslim was speaking with a team member. After a while, the team member beckoned me over. The man was aggressively spouting vile and blasphemous things about the Lord Jesus Christ—mocking Him and the God of Scripture. Not only was I grieved to hear such things, but I knew continuing would only encourage him to persist in dishonouring our precious Saviour. We would have been ‘casting pearls before swine’ (Matthew 7:6). I brought the conversation to a swift end and encouraged the team member to walk away with me.
If someone is both unwilling to listen and blaspheming Christ, the most loving and God-honouring thing to do is end the conversation. To continue only increases their guilt and dishonours the name of the Lord. Even the Lord Himself is silent in the face of such hardened scorn. Listen to the voice of Wisdom—the incarnate Son—in Proverbs 1:22–23, 28:
“How long, you simple ones, will you love simplicity? For scorners delight in their scorning, and fools hate knowledge. Turn at my rebuke; surely I will pour out my spirit on you; I will make my words known to you. Because I have called and you refused… Then they will call on me, but I will not answer…”
This is not to say there is no hope. You may see such a person again, and they may be entirely different. We’ve often seen people change from week to week.
If someone is both unwilling to listen and blaspheming Christ, the most loving and God-honouring thing to do is end the conversation.
3. When a person wants to debate secondary theological matters
During an open-air in Leicester Square some years ago, a man wheeling a loudspeaker playing gospel songs approached me. One of his first questions was whether I spoke in tongues. His primary concern was to engage me in a long debate about the continuation or cessation of charismatic gifts. After a while, I reminded him that I was in London to share the gospel with hell-bound sinners—not to debate theological matters with saints.
Sometimes professing Christians want to stop and engage us in debate on secondary issues. While such discussions may be worthwhile in the right context, the open-air is not the place. If we sense the conversation is turning into a theological argument, it’s best to gently explain why we’re there and suggest another time for discussion.
4. When a person is intoxicated
Town and city centres often attract those with addictions. We should be deeply concerned for such souls. We are often encouraged by interactions with them. But sometimes, a person who is clearly intoxicated or spaced out may try to engage. In these cases, a prolonged conversation may not be fruitful.
We should listen and show care—but if someone is clearly incoherent, the best course may be to offer them a piece of literature to read once they have sobered up.
5. When you are tempted to harshness
Conversations can sometimes become heated. If you find yourself raising your voice or speaking without gentleness, it may be time to stop. Whether engaging with an atheist, a cult member, or someone antagonistic to the gospel, we must remember our calling to share the hope of Christ “with gentleness and respect” (1 Peter 3:15).
If you sense you’re about to say something unkind or unhelpful, it’s better to end the conversation than to dishonour Christ. Proverbs 17:14 warns: “The beginning of strife is like releasing water; therefore stop contention before a quarrel starts.”
6. When a person clearly doesn’t want to be talking with you
Some people are polite but uninterested. You may ask several questions and receive only short, disengaged answers. You find yourself doing all the talking—and they aren’t responding. In such cases, it’s best not to prolong the interaction.
Thank them politely for listening and offer them a tract or leaflet. This provides a natural and respectful conclusion, and gives them something to read if their interest is sparked later on.
Perhaps you’ve encountered other such situations. Ultimately, there’s no hard and fast rule about when to end a conversation. We need to prayerfully seek wisdom before each outreach, asking the Lord to help us read situations rightly and apply biblical discernment consistently.
And we have this assurance:
“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.”
(James 1:5)
Would you like to gain experience in personal evangelism? Why not apply to join one of our Team Events this summer, and gain practical experience in sharing the gospel one to one.